


Before

by andrastes_grace



Series: The Railroad [2]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Death, Drabble, F/F, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Non-Linear Narrative, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 19:20:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6437104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andrastes_grace/pseuds/andrastes_grace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I started thinking about what Dez would’ve been like when she first joined the Railroad, all full of fire and anger after Sam’s death and whoops my hand slipped.</p><p>Based on the headcanon/pretty much canon that the 'Sam' Dez mentions when she dies is the Lamda 8 mentioned in the Railroad terminals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before

Like most people in the Commonwealth she’d never really stopped to think about synths before. The Institute was a horror story, and their synths were the thing that went bump in the night.

She hadn’t known. Maybe if she’d known – been prepared –

_There isn’t anything you could’ve done._

The words aren’t said kindly. They’re not said unkindly either. They’re not meant to be kind or unkind. They’re stated. A fact.

_They’re wrong._

If she’d know about Sam -

(Lamda 8, they call her. _Sam_ , she wants to scream at them, _she was Sam_.)

\- then should would’ve _known_. She could’ve…

She buries her head in her hands and wants to scream.

_(she can feel the shotgun in her hands but there’s too many, always too many, and they’re fast. She hears Sam screaming for help and smells her own flesh burn from the hit from the fusion cell weapon)_

They don’t want her here.

 

_We can’t leave her to die._

She can hear them arguing. She’s lying on the ground in front of what’s left her farm.

She needs to get to Sam – to see –

_Shit! Don’t try and move._

She doesn’t know if they’re speaking to her, or Sam or one of their own.

_I’m sorry._

That’s the last thing she hears.

 

She wakes up underground.

They’re the Railroad. The good guys.

That’s what the one in the shades tells her.

They’ll get her out of the ‘Wealth. A new start. They’re good at new starts.

_Not fucking good enough._

She wants Sam. She doesn’t tell them that.

"I want to know everything."

That’s what she tells them.

_Everything._

 

Like most people in the Commonwealth she’d never really stopped to think about synths before. And now they’re all she can think about.

Sam is dead. Her Sam. Her wife.

_(my fault it’s my fault it’s all my fault)_

Synths are to be feared, that’s what the stories say. Horrors stories of the Institute replacements stalking the Commonwealth.

Sam wasn’t a horror story or a monster. She’d just wanted to be free.

_They all should be free._

The people who killed her – the people Sam escaped from –

Desdemona won’t be caught unprepared again.


End file.
